My Noun Is So Adjective 15

Waiting in the shadows for Will was another albino crocodile in a bowler hat.



Will was pretty sure this albino crocodile wasn't real. The creature approached him with a slight bounce in its step.

"My boss won't be happy you knocked out his favorite specimen. Hyuk, hyuk!" said the mascot in a goofy voice.

"Is your boss Penelope Rose? I'm pretty sure she roofied me and locked me in with your brother over there." replied Will.

"I'm not at liberty to speak about that, but you can ask me about our animal tours! Hee, hee!"

"Excuse me?"

"You're gonna have to come with me. Hyuk!"

"I'm not going anywhere until I get some answers."

"Don't worry! If you don't want to follow me, I can always force you to! Ahee, hee!"

The giant lizard pulled out a noun from his vest and threatened Will to follow him.

My Noun Is So Adjective 14

The spork hit the crocodile square in the tonsils causing it to vomit.

In the process the croc threw up a small metal key, and then promptly passed out.



"Well, okay." said Will as he cautiously approached the ivory monster and picked up the slimy key. This was all very strange. Was this part of the challenge formally proposed by Penelope Rose? Was she the one who roofied him? Was this the key to the cage? All these questions flooded Will's mind, now that immediate doom was knocked unconscious.



The padlock clicked open as Will turned the key. At least he had the answer to one of his questions. The doors to the cage swung open as Will triumphantly leaped out of his prison.

Waiting in the shadows for Will was a noun in a bowler hat.

EJ Comic 437: Con Carne

Day 358 of 365 of iPad Blogging Challenge.

My Noun Is So Adjective 13

Will threw the card with all his strength and hit the croc's nose.



The debit card uselessly ricocheted off the unfazed crocodile's snout. What a waste of time. For a "legendary man," Will sure did suck at incapacitating albino crocodiles with projectile plastic cards. He fumbled in his pocket for any other items to frivolously hurl at the beast.



Luckily, Will found a spork, his weapon of choice against nasty grapefruits. He hoped it would also be effective against nasty reptiles. Will wound up and pitched the hybrid utensil just as the croc opened its jaws.



The spork hit the crocodile square in the tonsils causing it to verb.

My Noun Is So Adjective 12

Will reached into his pocket and pulled out his only weapon, a debit card.



"I'm about to make a deposit... Of pain!" Will said like a complete badass. He wielded the debit card like a ninja star, or a Batarang. Will only had one shot to incapacitate the voracious reptile.

Will threw the card with all his strength and hit the croc's body part.

My Noun Is So Adjective 11

Inside the cage with Will was an albino crocodile.



This croc seemed like it hadn't been fed in a while. It was eyeing Will with a ravenous look in its eyes. Will backed up as the crocodile inched closer and closer. "And I thought Bradley was mean when he was hungry." Will muttered.

Will reached into his pocket and pulled out his only weapon, a noun.

My Noun Is So Adjective 10

When Will finally came to, he found himself in a dark and dirty menagerie.

Will struggled to his feet to survey his situation. "That girl with the tiny hat must have roofied me or something." He muttered as he staggered toward the bars of his cage. Despite his vast array of male and female stalkers, he had never been roofied before.



Will could hear the squeaks and squawks of various exotic animals, and saw a line of cages outside of the one where he resided. It appeared that this was a traveling menagerie underneath a circus tent. He scanned the area for any sign of humans, but got distracted by a rumbling from inside his cage. He was not alone.

Inside the cage with Will was an exotic beast.

An Update from my Phone!

I'm having trouble with the WiFi in my current location, so I guess it'll be a double update tomorrow!

My Noun Is So Adjective 9

"You look like you traveled here from the past. I guess that proves I belong in your future."

No woman could ever resist such a charming, well-crafted, and beautifully delivered line.



However, the girl shot Will a look he had never seen before. A look that he later would learn is a look of derision. Will studied it, but only found that it got more blurry as he did. In fact, everything in the bar became hazy. Suddenly his head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds and crashed into the bar counter.



Before Will slipped into unconsciousness he heard the girl say, "Have a good nap, Will. See you in the future."

When Will finally came to, he found himself in a dark and dirty location.

EJ Comic 436: Mustache Magi

Day 352 of 365 of iPad Blogging Challenge.

My Noun Is So Adjective 8

Will's preferred method of killing time was hydrating.

"Hydrating" was Will's euphemism for drinkin'. Most people would be called alcoholics if they went to a bar at noon, but those people aren't as handsome as Will.

Will went to his favorite bar Tequila Mockingbird, to knock back some brews and socialize with the happening crowds.

As Will consumed an obscure microbrew at the bar, an attractive lady pulled up next to him. Her attire was quite strange, as Will didn't think tiny bowler hats were in style, but somehow she pulled it off.



On top of that, she seemed to be making flirtatious glances over at Will. Perhaps she was interested. It was time to seal the deal with one of Will's famous pick up lines. Will ran his fingers through his breathtaking hair, consequently making the bartender swoon. He moved over closeer to the fine lass and said with utmost confidence,

"Insert pick up line."

My Noun Is So Adjective 7

Inside the box, Will found a formal declaration of challenge.



The challenge was posted on a ham, oddly enough. Messages sent on hams became a huge thing somehow. "How does something like this catch on?" Will wondered. He removed the note and read it.



Penelope Rose? Will searched the vast database of all the women he knew. Will made an effort to remember every woman he met. Mainly for safety reasons, because they quickly became his stalkers. Penelope Rose did not ring a bell with any list of women in either good or bad standing.

Regardless, Will was challenged, and he was obligated to accept. Will NEVER turned down dares or challenges. However, he had to "await further instructions," which meant he had to kill some time.

Will's preferred method of killing time was verb -ing.

My Noun Is So Adjective 6

Looking through the peephole, Will saw the familiar silhouette of a Flying Spaghetti Monster!!!



Wait... No... Upon further inspection, it was the silhouette of a UPS man.



"I have to get some new contacts." muttered Will.

Will opened the door and signed for the package. He brought the package in and excitedly set it on the table. He didn't recall ordering anything off the Internet, nor was there a return address. Will sliced through the packing tape and opened the box.

Inside the box, Will found a noun.

EJ Comic 435: Shark Tooth Necklace

My Noun Is So Adjective 5

Will carefully prepared Bradley's favorite food, chicken noodle soup.



Bradley was a very picky kitty, and demanded only the finest foods made from quality ingredients. The soup could NOT come in a can, that reminded Bradley too much of pedestrian cat food. Everything must be made from scratch. Luckily, Will was a much better cook than he was a songwriter. Will spent three hours every morning masterfully crafting the soup, and today was no different. He poured the golden nectar into Bradley's ivory dining goblet, and laid it before his fluffy cat

Bradley was not impressed. He took one sniff of it and gave Will a look that said, "I don't want soup today. Make something else." Or at least that's what Will could glean from the cat's cold, emotionless stare. Man, what an asshole.

Before Will could return to the kitchen for another three hours of toil, there was a knock at the front door. Will wasn't expecting any guests. He rushed to the door to investigate.

Looking through the peephole, Will saw the familiar silhouette of a noun.

Fan Art Friday

Welcome to Fan Art Friday! I asked for fan art and amazingly enough, I got some.

Here's a Mr. Taffy comic from Sara Gouveia:



Here's an EJ Comic from NinjaInWhite:



I don't think this will be a weekly thing, but if I get enough fan art, I'll definitely post it. If you'd like to make me some, send it to edmund.massa@gmail.com.

My Noun Is So Adjective 4

There he saw Will in his house, singing his theme song.



Will didn't have any sort of lyrical sense, nor did he feel the need to rhyme, but he wrote a song that he frequently sang. And by 'wrote' I mean that he just belted out words that described how awesome he was in a sing-songy voice.

"Will is the best person ever! 
Almost as awesome as that
Character from Alias, Will Tippin,
And we are both named Will!
It must be Faaaaaaaaaaate!"

Seriously, Will didn't know how songs worked, but nobody cared, because he was so hot. If he decided to go into songwriting, he would have been successful regardless of his abhorrent singing.

Suddenly, Will heard a hungry mewing coming from the other room. 

"It's time to feed, Bradley!" he said.

Of course Will's cat, Bradley Cooper, didn't eat cat food from a can like some damned proletariat cat. No! Bradley was a special cat and deserved something special.

Will carefully prepared Bradley's favorite food, noun.

EJ Comic 434: Eleventh Commandment

No time for My Noun Is So Adjective, so have a EJ Comic to hold you over! This gives you more time to fill in the blanks on the previous post, so please comment if you can.

My Noun Is So Adjective 3

But most of all, he hated Will's fluffy kitten.



"Oh yeah! That cat is an asshole!" exclaimed Ignacio. "If there's anyone more smug than Will, it is definitely that cat. What a wretched, smuggy animal. Screw that cat! I mean... don't literally screw the cat. That. That would be wrong. I just aggressively despise that cat. And by 'aggressive' I don't mean I aggressively want to have sex with the cat. I'm going to stop digging myself into a deeper hole. Let's spy on Will some more."

Ignacio peered deep into the All-Seeing Deep Fryer's mystic lipids.

There he saw Will in his house, verb -ing his noun.

My Noun Is So Adjective 2

Except for for a certain carny named Ignacio.



As Ignacio gazed into his All-Seeing Deep Fryer, he bubbled with hatred for Will. Ignacio hated his smug smile, his dumb yellow hair, and his stupid shirt.

But most of all, he hated Will's adjective noun.

My Noun Is So Adjective 1

There once was a legendary man named Will.



Everybody loved Will, because he was so legendary. Women swooned as he ran a comb through his magnificent, golden locks. Men stood in line for his incredible high-fives. Yes, everybody loved Will.

Except for for a certain noun named proper noun.

EJ Comic 433: DeteST

New project starts tomorrow. Comment on the previous post to contribute.

An Experiment. Please Comment.

Fill in this sentence:

There once was a legendary noun named proper noun.

Nothing explicit please.

EJ Comic 432: When You Wish Upon...

EJ Comic 431: Buy Conflict Diamonds*

*Please do not buy conflict diamonds.

Day 339 of 365 of iPad Blogging Challenge.

EJ Comic 430: Oven Mitt

EJ Comic 429: Frog Boy is Not Amused

EJ Comic 428: Winestick

Wanna Make Some Fan Art?

Hello everyone! I was wondering if any of you would like to make some fan art for my blog. I was thinking of doing a monthly feature where I showcase comics or art made by you, inspired by EJ Comic or any of my characters. Maybe you really have a unique take on Giant Bird Government or perhaps a zany adventure for Mr. Taffy to go on. If you make something email it to me at edmund.massa@gmail.com. You don't even need to be good at drawing, you can blatantly steal my art and change the words. Here's one that Chris O sent me that did just that:



Here are a couple things to keep in mind if you are sending me stuff:

Let's try to keep the content PG-13. This means no excessive swearing and no nudity please.

I won't post anything that cruelly makes fun of other races, religions, sexes, or sexual orientation. Poking fun might be okay, but just try to keep it respectful.

Violence is okay, just nothing excessively disturbing. A little disturbing is fine!

Just have fun with it! If you have any questions let me know in the comments or shoot me an email.

EJ Comic 427: Manatee Meat

EJ Comic 426: A Crate and Barrel

EJ Comic 425: Wrist Watch

No Comic Today 4

EJ Comic 424: Mantis Mantra

EJ Comic 423: Real Hermits